Category Archives: literature

I’m just talking to myself. 

When you see me walking on the streets, 

And I seem to no not have a destination, 

Doesn’t mean am lost for a meet. 

Its on purpose that I  have no direction.

For somewhere deep in a castle that glints, 

I seet across someone and hold a conversation. 

Me: want to play chess,

Him:hmm, sure. To what do I owe the pleasure of the visit?(he snaps his fingers and the chess board appeared) last you where here you were a mess. I’ll take the white, you be the dark

Me: well, you live, you learn. I think  karma has taken a liking to me… 

Him:(he moves, I move) hmmm… What is it this time? 

Me: don’t pretend like you don’t know… Ah…! Am winning this one. 

Him: fine I know, so what? You want me to wave a magic wand and make your problems go away?(notices something.) best change direction before you make friends with the tarmac. 

In the real world, I turn a corner… It was evening and a little light rays hit the street, it was scarcely populated. As I continued on, I was back in the castle. 

Me: Haha no… That’s mine to bare. I just want company. 

Him: (left with one move, I block him, checkmate)Bah! Huuuh! Win some… Lose some. Go find a real person. 

Me: not that easy, 

Him: am not real… Don’t be afraid of rejection. Say hello,. 

Me: haha if it was that easy, I wouldn’t need you. 

Him: Exactly! (he says, leaving) Remember, am you, so I know you can d.. .. 

He fades away. Am left in the castle alone. 

I go back to reality, I walk by a coffee shop, I see a lady alone through the window… 

Leap of faith? 

Some random thought. 

I found myself at a bookstore perusing through a certain book… For the life of me I can’t seem to remember what it’s title was… But it did leave me ever the more wiser, or knowledgeable… Depends on how you look at it… It said “every hour wounds, but the last kills.” 

Yeah… I thought that I should take it as it is. It’s easy to think it’s all about death and everyone will shy away from it as quick as they can. 

I don’t know what kind of person I am for there’s more yet to learn but sometimes it gets exhausting think about the negative. So at time I like to participate in ‘the cup half full’ kinda theme. So from those words in the first paragraph, I find myself thinking on the saying, what does kill you makes you stronger. Or that there are two sides to a coin. 
One can toil for the longest period but in the end it gets easier since the person may have learned how to do the job more efficiently. Or even climbing that steep mountain and finally getting to the top… And your complaining is replaced with pride and satisfaction in your actions… See? Cup half full.. . Try it. 

My way or The No way

I remember the first time I stepped in to high school{Kenyan high school}, I wasn’t feel with bright eyed career imagery or a political enthusiastic psyche for the debaters’ club as we watch on TV. no… no… African high schools are different from the worlds, but i can only speak about the Kenyan ones. well… some of them,… okay just the one I was in.

The idea of a career was not even in my mind as Form 1 student. I was all about how to survive in that place. Bullying is a sensitive subject both to victims and perpetrators around the world. In the school that I was in, bullying happened to be in it and yes, several of us juniors did get to experience such “ritualistic” activities as am sure bullying happens in all places, be it at work, home, school, church. Back in primary school, I heard rumors about how bad a person is bullied and that may as well have put the fear of God in me. So education or rather passing my exam was not really in mind at the time. I was more worried about how i would the night would be handled if the seniors felt frisky. There is always some person who will feel bigger and better than some other person and will always try to make the “lesser” person feel the difference repeatedly. And sometimes in an excruciatingly memorable way.

But as we, the students, went on our daily unnecessary chores given to us by the seniors, something seemed to have hit the back of my mind but it wasn’t clear until one night, a senior (Form 3) that i had befriend said to me ” Cheki buda, maisha ni ya… yako, ukiacha msee akufikirie au akukazie maisha kila saa… you’ll have a hard time in life. Mtu nikujisot, no one will help you. So will you continue being pushed over or will you start to learn how to survive this school. I can’t fight your every battle.”

To sum it all up, he basically said that I shouldn’t be a victim. That I should learn how to turn thing to my advantage, or I’ll  find myself in avoidable situations playing victim. And that’s what I did, I had to cause nothing became any easier afterwards but that’s a long story. Point is I was able grasp the knowledge of how to deal with people and I use those skill to date. Am not saying that bullying was a good thing for me, it just showed me that the world is not all apples and roses. sometimes you get pepper or a Venus flytrap. This world wants you on your knees, so you have to decide whether to stay down or fight your way above it.

Self

Who are you? 

Who are you, really? 

A question you’ve asked yourself or been asked before. 

Am sure your answer will pop up immediately, without thinking much. 

After all, you know yourself, right? 

Am not so sure… 

Every time  you ask yourself this question, you always have a different answer. 

So… Do you know yourself, truly? 

Sometimes I find myself questioning my actions,… 

We as humans are so conflictive we tend to lose our compass. 

When the necessary is needed to be done, we check our morality at the door

Yet when the same actions are done to us, we call call our assailants cowards, 

Hypocrites, that’s what we are. 

Are we the better evil, maybe… Maybe not. 

So I give you this exercise before you depart… 

Ask yourself, really ask yourself, “who are you? Saint or sinner”

If you are honest with yourself, you’ll come to realize just like I did, the answer is not found here. 

You would know, in that self righteous bravado, that a demon of your own fashion lies 

Or an angel that lights that needed candle in the dark night. 

You think you’d know that answer at your finger tips, but every time, every action seem to veer off your seeming path. 

You know what you’ve done, but do you know what you will do? 

Again, I ask, who are you?